"It's important to engage your village, friends, family who can support you with time-sharing and babysitting," Zane says.Parents who have a shared custody agreement may have evenings without the kids that they can use to schedule dates. You fill out a profile and it matches you with other like-minded mothers in your area." A potential friend and someone to swap babysitting with? Dating has changed since you were single, and so have you.Instead, focus on topics that are easy to discuss and help you learn about each other.Though you may be excited about a new relationship, be extra cautious about sharing this information with your kids.The children may already feel they lost one parent in the divorce, Baumgartner says, you don't want to put them through another loss if this relationship ends.It's also important to consider the age and personality of your children.
Your kids deserve an explanation, but shouldn't be your confidants."This is big nay for me when children are in the house," Zane says.For the timid or busy, it's a great way to get used to the idea of looking for love without the pressure.Whether you're looking for a fling, a ring, or something in between, remember that dating is part of the journey, not a means to an end, Zane says."In my coaching practice, I suggest that single moms do the inside work to get really clear about their wants, needs, values and beliefs and get in touch with their intuition," says Kerri Zane, single-mom lifestyle expert and author of It Takes All 5: A Single Mom's Guide to Finding the Real One.Once you've decided that you're ready to date, it might feel impossible to find the time.And Baumgartner says that single parents need to consider that this may be true."I tell clients that having some time for 'just themselves' is important," she says.No date likes to be surprised by that info later on.Other than that, she says, save the details about your children, your custody arrangements, your divorce, and your ex for when you know the person better."How would you feel if your kids came into your bedroom in the middle of the night with this person sleeping over? If you can comfortably answer your child's questions and tend to their needs with that person lying in bed next to you, then maybe you're on the way to some slumber parties." If not, you can find other creative ways to make time for intimacy.