But I can’t defend my actions with a verse of Scripture that gives me this right or excuses me from living with a difficult husband.
Do you have any advice on how I can answer this accusation?
I am looking forward to the new book soon to be released.
I am not seeing that as much in my spouse even though his words say he’s sorry and he loves me and wants everything to be different.The reason why that’s the case is that when you practice distraction (which is what multi-tasking really is – paying attention to something that distracted you from what you were originally paying attention to), you’re training your brain. Why do most all of us seem to fall prey to these devices even as we know they’re causing a real problem for us? The first is that we’re perfectly mal-adapted, biologically speaking, to these devices. We’re radically over-developing the parts of quick thinking, distractable brain and letting the long-form-thinking, creative, contemplative, solitude-seeking, thought-consolidating pieces of our brain atrophy by not using them. Part II – What are we losing as a result of our short attention span and easy distractability? You’re eating lunch with a friend and they excuse themselves to the restroom. Now, you pull our your phone because being unstimulated makes you feel anxious. We didn’t think gap time and “boredom” were valuable.You’re training your brain to pay attention to distracting things. When our ancestors, the Geico guys, were sitting out on the savanna and the tree next to them rustled. My favorite summary line on this whole topic comes from Sherry Turkle, an MIT professor who studies technology and society. Digital connections offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. Now that we’re losing it, we get a sense of just how valuable it was. Besides taking a break from distraction, another step is to ACTIVELY TRAIN your long-form attention and mindfullness. Whatever form it takes, make it a DAILY practice of slowing down. Perhaps the most interesting or provocative approach to solving it, harkens back to that line at the end of the Microsoft commercial – ‘we need a phone to save us from our phones’. There is a small academic movement called Slow Tech.But, make the reward random and people have a very hard time stopping. Do you know what the average # of text messages a 13-17 year old teenage girl sends and receives every month? The Slow Tech folks ask the question – can we alter the purpose of lifestyle technologies to focus on alternative aims? That people are going to be even more distracted, even more unable to pay attention to things for any length of time. Some pulls are nothing, some pulls give you a little, and occasionally, you get a jackpot. Perhaps aims that are about making real connections with the people around us, fostering real understanding and deepening relationships with one another. I’m feeling like summer is flying by, and I’ve not enjoyed it as much as I wanted to.I need to slow down, but I’m just not exactly sure how to do that.The effect of all of this is that we’re increasingly distracted.Less and less able to pay attention to anything for what used to be reasonable length of times.Some people call switching our attention between things that vie for it “multi-tasking”.Like were a computer with dual cores running two simultaneous processes. Numerous brain imaging studies have shown that what we call “multi-tasking” in humans, is not multi-tasking at all.