"If you’re able, it’s better to get through the breakup and learn what you can from the previous relationship, so you’ve grown and learned — and bring that knowledge into a new relationship." That way, you're healthier and ready to enter into a new thing with someone without dragging them into your mourning process."Don't start dating again after a breakup until you are fully engaged in being a receptive dating partner," certified relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca tells Bustle."If your heart is still caught up in the past, it's not fair to a new partner for you to be dating." Even if you think you're ready, solicit outside advice — friends, a trusted listener — to be sure that you really are.
Kink in this plan: Your ex may see right through this move, or worse, believe it and not care. Since you are single again, you clearly aren't choosing people who are right for you. A guy you totally aren’t interested in asked you out and you said yes. A bad date or a forced situation will make you lament your single status more. Make sure you really get in touch with your emotions and the motivators for your actions.Past emotions, attachments and experiences cannot compete with someone you have known for five minutes. Understand and accept that it will probably take some time for you to develop feelings for a new guy, but that doesn't mean you won't find better or you won't like someone else. Schedule some more time with your friends, spend some time alone and get yourself back to a place where you’re okay with being single.Being post-breakup is one of the most frustrating places in the world to be. You’re practically running around searching for a date, even if it is with the guy next to you at the gas station. Dating can be fun, but let's be honest: When you’re in a good relationship, you do not miss your single days whatsoever.Putting yourself out there takes patience and can be extremely frustrating.The utter sadness and despair you feel post-breakup is exacerbated by the fears of fix ups, loneliness, considering or Tinder, and of course, rejection.When we are faced with the “single again” situation, there are common things we all WANT to do, but in reality, these things are not what we SHOULD be doing.All of a sudden you think he has to be a secret porn addict who lives in his parents' basement. When you’re not 100 percent sold on dating being “fun,” you can easily create excuses to write people off and say no to dates.This scenario is both highly unlikely and completely constructed in your emotional mindset. You will never love absolutely everything about another person, so try not to be too harsh.Breakups are never easy, and there is a lot to think about and process once you find yourself single again. Read on to discover 13 love and relationship experts' advice as to how long you should wait after a breakup to date again."How ever long you need to work through the anger or sadness," Janet Zinn, a New York City–based couples therapist, tells Bustle. While some thought it's best to get right back in there, others really maintained that giving yourself a lot of time and space — two to three months for every year you were together with your last partner, for example — is the smartest and most honest way to go, especially if you really want to be emotionally prepared for your next relationship.