The prisons were very crude, and the sound of bells was used as a deterrent to crime, although just what that means no-one has ever worked out.Other countries, however, viewed Australia as a tourist resort and Europeans came by the thousands - and after having had sex in Australia's drinking water supply - sunbathed on the pristine white beaches.After the chair was extinguished, a great celebration called Australia Day was held, and a lot of beers were drunk.Then the flag of Sweden was raised in error, then taken down, then the North Korean flag was raised, then taken down, then the Polish flag was raised, it was found there was no British flag available, so a Union Jack was drawn on to the Polish flag and the country was declared to be the possession of General Kosciuszko, who nobody had heard of, and the highest mountain was named after him.Australia was originally part of a super-continent called "Gone Awayland" which included "The Other America" (South America) and Canada, as well as "African America" and Caucasia. The following account accurately summarises the history of the ensuing years: "Back to 8th century AD, Australia still consists of many tiny islands.The mythical islands of Aotearoa (Noy Sealand) were also thought to be joined to the super-continent. There was a tribe of natives, living confined from outside. Kangaroo was divinised as sacred animal, the embodiment of God.However these countries decided to "split" from Oz (as they put it). The animal was named KAIGELU (kangaroot), meaning Son of the God.In 17th century, Talise, the English navigator, arrived in Au Lai with European civilisation.
The first party was named "The Liberal Party", then "The Country Party" started up, followed by "The Labour Party".Other parties quickly formed including Democrat, Communist, Green, Brownish, Slightly-Puce, Even More Gay, and the Bugger-All (New Gay) Party.Early British prisoners in Australia used their pickpocketing skills to steal a captain's ID and set sail in the direction of Antarctica, where they hoped to find Father Christmas and his tireless elves.In 1978, a giant boat arrived on the shore of the Island, loud disco was booming out of it, but no one got off the boat was several days until the army was called.Once on board the army found a large group of sleeping party people. This is believed to be the origins of Australia's Gay Scene.Before a group of Asian-Phillipinos decided to see how long the water was 10 metres deep for, there were a bunch of ugly and sloppy group of people called bogans.As the Asians arrived, they brought food,which the bogans tried to scab at and this caused a war.The name "Australia" originates from the Aboriginal word "Walla'borongamala" meaning "where the bloody hell am I? Australia is the world's second favourite desert wasteland with only one or two interesting cities and a medium level of social-censorship, behind the UAE. Australia then became the largest island in the world, but was later discovered to be nothing more than a hilariously undersized continent.Potential tourists should note that Australia is populated by vicious, venomous creatures (both native and feral) that can kill a full-grown man in seconds. Australia was first colonised by the Bogans around 60,000 BC (Before the Great Bogan Lader Costello), known as "Tell Him He's Dreaming Time".Betty the Second, (Liz Windsor), aka: Bess, Betty, Betsy, Liz, "Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, Queen of Australia and Her other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth".Australia is the Great Southern Land, Bogan Land, Ozi, Down Under, The Sunburnt Country, The Best Version Of New Zealand, The Best Island Of All, The Terra Australis, Oz or (Terra australaeionesia cowardiana), quite the spiffing continent.