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Dating a colleague first date

As someone who spent all of her early twenties dating fellow journalists, I would never advise a young woman to follow my example.

I didn’t suffer any professional disasters, but I did have to deal with a lot of personal anxieties I might not have experienced otherwise…I don’t think it’s a total coincidence that I’ve been most professionally successful in the years since I instituted my ‘no journo’ dating rule.

Despite it being more convenient for 20-something women who are trying to make “serious strides in [their careers] before [they have] to make tough decisions about marriage and kids” to find potential suitors in the office, Friedman thinks that having a “co-worker-boyfriend hybrid” remains a bad idea.

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It’s better, instead, to look at the pros and cons of dating a co-worker so you can be prepared if you decided to go there. The person you’re dating works in the same building. You can bitch to him about what an ass your boss is and how much that proposal due next week is stressing you out and he’ll totally get it. Depending on your company’s policy’s, you might have to keep your romantic involvement a secret, which, let’s be honest, can be really HOT. You also don’t have to wonder if he keeps Pop Tarts in his desk or likes to take his shoes off when he’s in deep thought. If you get into a spat or worse, break up, you’ll have to see him every day — eating his stupid Pop Tarts, working with his shoes off, dating someone new — and it’s gonna be bitch.

Once I disentangled my feelings about my relationships from my feelings about my own work and career, I was more confident and could make clearer choices in both areas of my life.” I respect the point she makes, but I tend to think of the choice to date a co-worker as one made on a case-by-case basis depending on circumstances, career field (who would celebs date if they didn’t date each other?

) and personal readiness, not by a moral imperative. When I was in college I worked at a nightclub — partially because I needed the cash and partially because I was dating a guy who also worked there. Well, because he was awful and I was 19 and didn’t know any better.

Most medium- to large-sized companies have legal guidelines for romance between coworkers.

Before you get seriously involved with someone, check with your human resources department and make sure you aren't breaking any rules. Besides the fact that it's completely unprofessional, it can make your coworkers feel uncomfortable.

370 comments

  1. Quick backstory We didn't meet on the job — we were dating for almost four years before we started working together which, by the way, wasn't planned.

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